Calling on my Soul!

I’ve been in a sort of hiding from the world for the past little while. Limited internet, limited phone, limited conversation, and very little contact with the outside world. Several months back, I wanted to run away from the life that had gradually fallen apart in Ottawa, so that’s what I did. However, I quickly discovered that you can never run away from yourself. And most of our problems reside within so they tend to follow you wherever you go. So although I stepped away from my previous life I took myself, my constant companion with me.
It would have been easy enough to have found a way to have made myself unconscious to life and my constant introspective mind. Many people live unconscious lives and there are countless paths and forms of unconsciousness from drinking, smoking, drugs, any sort of addiction etc…to simply deciding to settle for a mediocre life. It takes courage, strength, and perseverance to truly become conscious. Developing a truly conscious awareness takes a lot of work. Often we see and learn things about our self that we don’t like.
Back in Ottawa, I would often go through days feeling like a zombie. I often felt empty, burnt out, and frustrated. My mind would constantly question the purpose and meaning of life despite the fact of having so much. I yearned for some guiding force and I would often catch glimpses of what I presumed to be my soul.
However, these glimpses and clues were often pushed aside because of the fast pace of life. My soul had been suppressed in a society that doesn’t believe or simply doesn’t have time to believe. We are a society that functions primarily on the physical plane. We demand for scientific data and proof and often disregard other possibilities if they can’t be proved by a study. And on top of that, we want instant results and immediate gratification.
I searched within our seemingly soulless society to try and find meaning but I just couldn’t find anything lasting. I yearned for a spiritual journey and after enough asking that is what I received.
Once the major part of my spiritual journey started I somehow thought it would be easy, like I would automatically somehow become enlightened. Patience has never been my strong point. But like anything it has been full of ups and downs. I joke that instead of being at a triathlon training camp, I’m now at a spiritual training camp. Building a base and foundation for my soul. Instead of losing physical weight, I’m working on losing the weight of the world. Instead of building muscles I’m building up a good storage of “soul fat”. Namaste!