Heading to Hawaii!!!!!!

I’m sitting here in the Ottawa airport waiting for my first flight where by the end of the day I’ll end up in Hawaii. After spending at least an hour unpacking and packing my suitcases and running back and forth to the weight scale to meet the weight requirements, I’m set. A bit of a comical scene I suppose with my parents and AC offering advise and comments on what to keep or unpack.
“Your rollarblades are just too heavy Monica. Take them out.” says my Mom.
“What is she supposed to use for transport?” asks AC.
“Why don’t you just buy a new pair when you get there” offers my Dad.
“Why do you have a hole puncher, stapler, paper and six pairs of shoes in your suitcase? Where are all your clothes?”
“Most of my clothes are in my bike box” I say.
“The lady at the counter said you weren’t allowed to have anything other than your bike in there”, says my Mom.
I glance at my bulging bike box, which has much more than my bike. Somehow the guy who packed it for me was able to put my helmet, pump, dried food, clothes, shoes, swimming paddles and a pull buoy in it. I cross my fingers and hope they don’t decide to open it at customs.
“Just say you were using the stuff for extra padding” says my Dad.
I glance down at the two purses I have and have to make a choice between Billabong or Gucci. My dad grabs my Gucci and says
“I’ll take this home for you. May as well take the nice one.”
I look at horror at my dad and say, “Dad, Gucci is the nicer one. But billabong is more Hawaii like”. I sigh and decide on Gucci.
“Come on Monica, you spent the winter at an ashram, didn’t you learn that you don’t need material stuff?” I take a moment and reflect but determine that everything I have packed is absolutely essential. Absolutely. Ok maybe except the peanut butter, nutella and rice noodles and perhaps the dried fruit and nuts since I’m not even sure those are allowed past the border. Being hypoglycemic and gluten-free, I’m a bit of a food hoarder and have an irrational fear of being somewhere where there is no available food that I can eat.
I toss my bottle of sun lotion to my Mom.
“Monica you need to take this or you’ll get skin cancer!”
“Mom it’s ok, I’ll buy some more once I get there.”

Sitting here now by myself I feel inspired to write. Something I haven’t done in awhile. Writing is something I often do when I feel anxious and for the first time in awhile I feel anxious. It’s been a very lengthly, complicated, and costly process to get to where I am right now and throughout everything there was never a doubt in my mind that I was doing what I was meant to be doing. But as I said goodbye to my parents and my great friend AC who came to the airport with me, all of a sudden I’m overwhelmed with emotions. For the first time the question ‘What am I doing?’ has popped into my head. I know these feelings are normal things to experience during a big transition and I’ve travelled enough to know that they will pass but it’s interesting to note that even though I know everything is going to be great and truly I am so excited, some anxiety and sadness still exist. I keep thinking back to when I left for BC last winter and how I didn’t know a soul when I arrived but left having made many friendships and having so many amazing experiences. I’m not exactly sure what the future holds for me but I’ll find out soon enough and try to blog more often as a way to communicate with my friends and family back in Canada. Thank you to all of you who have helped me get to where I am today. You know who u are and I will miss all of you!